17.10.05 2:21 am
ok now i finally remember the word...the word of da day is PIOUS!!!yes pious....dunnoe wat it meanz??come my lil fren let me give u the definition ok..pious=Having or exhibiting religious reverence; earnestly compliant in the observance of religion; devout...
know it now??yes???gd!!no???bodoh!!ahakz!!!
n yati..lau ko baca ni aku nk ckp ko giler la ko!!!!!!!juz coz u so called first time see dis side of me ko nk go wow n wow n wow n wow n im impressed..ko cute la ko giler...
i dunnoe y bt i juz wanna cry...wait..im alreadi crying..all thanks to the live broadcast of sholat terawih on TV1..i feel oh so envious of all the peepz in mecca now...they tgh sholat terawih..they tgh sHolat terawih!!SHOLAT TERAWIH!!!!!!!its like those sort once in a year..yes people u seeing the religious side of me..yes u r..its me..juz dat dis side has nvr been exposed..expose expose...
its only done during the fastin mth..its one of the five pillarz of islam...i eman fastin dat is..DUH!!i noe i dun seem to make sense bt to me i am..n its like the only time of the year in which u feel damn close to GOD..damn close to dat lil inner side of Islam..its like u realise dat u done too many sinz in a year..too many dat u wish u can be reincarnated n restart ur whole life..ko...aku byk berdosa...byk skali..
during dis mth u feel like u wanna haposkan all ur sinz..bt like u cant..n during this mth especially the last 10 dayz of ramadhan which is better known as Lailatul Khadar u can pray 4 wat u realli wish for n Allah swt will grant it..my only wish is for all my sinz to be erased from my life..n maybe start over..as if im bein reincarnated..bt how m i to do dat??wen i dun seem to pray durin this mth..left alone go for terawih..god..im such a poor servant of Yours..ya allah...
i feel like breaking down now..for all dat ive done...for drinkin away all those beerz n liqours eventhough i noe its haram..gosh!well i noe its haram..i wish i nvr drank it in da first place..i wished i nvr smoked..well at least i do know now dat i dun drink no more..neither do i smoke..im stayin away from those two baddies real good..n setan u can go away..nk hasut aku benda lain aku tk kisah...well aku tau my limits la setan..ass setan u ass!jahat!!!jahat sekali!!nt seriously lau ko nk hasut aku minum aku tk akan!dosa!!aku tk akan minum minuman keras lagi...NO NO!!!i wun smoke no more..im tryin to stop it wif my daily usage of vulgarities n wat not everything bad..herm..insya'allah dat can be done..slowly...
bt the real deal i love bout sholat terawih which is the main pt here is like me bein around strangerz..all the aunts,nenek n lil kiddoz while sholating..its like u feel the spirit of everyone as one prayin to The Al-Mighty..givin him our all...n wen the prayer is over u feel da love of people hu u dunnoe..its like u noe u haf dis big family of Islam..peepz u dunnoe r sumhow tied to u by the religion..dats how great this month is...
furthermore..wen its reachin the end of Ramadhan,u feel the "lost" of it..u feel like Ramadhan is gone too quickly...like u wan it to stay..now u wanna call me pious??go ahead..im juz stating my opinion..n im starting to feel dat Ramadhan is departing too fast..i feel the sense of greatness of Ramadhan..i wanna cry for Ramadhan goin to fast..4get bout the hunger..i juz wan it to stay..bt it wun happen..i wanna pray to God..i wanna be a better person..i wanna cry 4 all my wrong doingz..i wanna cry 4 nt making full use of this mth..i wanna cry 4 alot of thangz..
how unfaithful am i?very?yes..now if u guys were to watch the sholat terawih on TV1 at bout 1.30++ i tink u wud also feel the same way as i do..
bye my dear onez...
